What could i ask for more, my dear Allah? Alhamdulillahirabbilalamin

I love my baby to the bones.

Saturday – February 4th 2012 – 10.30am
I entered the hospital with my dear husband, my mom, my dad, and sister. The midwife checked the dilation, and it was only 1. The doctor asked the midwife to give me induction that spurs contraction.

Saturday – February 4th 2012 – 11.30am
I was given induction by the midwife.

Saturday – February 4th 2012 – 3.30pm
Progress: 3rd Dilation. The contraction’s getting harder. And my water just broke.

Saturday – February 4th 2012 – 5 pm
Progress: 5th Dilation. The contraction’s getting even harder. The pain has just become unbearable. I wanted to push now but it still was disallowed by the midwives. It was the hardest part.

Saturday – February 4th 2012 – 6.45 pm
Progress: 8th dilation. The contraction’s getting much much harder. The pain was really really unbearable. By now, I wanted a painkiller like epidural or ILA but it’s disallowed. I’m so sure I could face the pain. And the worst thing was the desire of pushing was getting harder. But, it was still disallowed. I was helped by the happy gas that made me lil bit flying but still I could feel this crazy pain.

Saturday – February 4th 2012 – 7.15pm
Progress: fully dilated, the doctor had come, and it was my time for pushing. Push, push push, and than 9 minutes after my doctor came, my beautiful baby girl was born. And by now, she’s become our world. Thank you my dear husband for being with me always when I gave birth to our baby. :*
الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ

Assalamu’alaikum my dear. Welcome to the world. Me and my dear husband named her NAYYARA AQILA HASAN.

Nayyara: Shining (arabic)
Aqila: smart and wise (arabic)
Hasan: her dad’s name, on the other hand hasan means Nice and good (arabic)

Be sholehah, be smart, be nice, and keep healthy.

Ayah and Bunda love you much, Nayyara.

” Allah doesn’t give what i want. But Allah always gives what i need. And whatever Allah gives me, it must be the best for me. Cause Allah knows, and i don’t. Alhamdulillah. “

Mocca, i’ve already known them since my first year on senior high school. I know all their songs from their first album “DIARY” until their last album. I know all the songs. I watched their concerts for the several times. And they are great! Really great. All their songs remind me to my unlucky first love.  Hehe. On the other hand, Mocca has high musicality. And their music is so enjoyable. But today, i know that they’re gonna quit from the indonesian music. Oh my god! I’m sooooo sad. Please don’t stop it Mocca. I love you much. All your songs are so memorable to me. It kept too much memories of mine. Please, don’t stop it Mocca. Hiks.

It’s been more than a year since i’ve worked in this government agency. I have great and nice office mates, i have nice bosses, and i have nice friends. By working there, i also get much new knowledges, new experiences, new memories with the work, with the friends, and i also earn money by working there. Overall i am so excited. But still there’s something that makes me quiet unhappy. As you know, actually i am in wrong major. Actually, since i was being a little kid, i’ve been dreaming of becoming a doctor. But, yes when i was on the last year in high school, i was disallowed to take the medical department. I was disallowed to make my dream come true. Mom and family suggested me to take the IT Department in college. Yah, because i didn’t want to become ANAK DURHAKA, i accepted their suggestions, and i took IT Department in college. The first year, the second year, till the last year, i was so suffering with all these things. I had to do what i really dislike, the things which i hate the most. I hate IT, i hate coding. Wtf! But, i just couldn’t believe that i could so easily studied IT there. As if God made me so easier to study there, to take my degree. My GPA is so satisfied, and for the wonderful one was i could studied there to get my bachelor degree for  7 semesters (3,5 years) only and it made my parents (quite) proud of me. But for normal case, it takes 8 semester (4 years) to take a bachelor degree. While i was still on college, i’ve ever been an assistant for a lab work and i earn money for the first time. I was paid by campus because i taught as a practical assistant. But eventually with the ease i got by studying there, i still can’t love IT. I still can’t love my knowledge, and my major.

Finally, after i got my bachelor degree, i’ve got the job. And my current job relates to the IT world too. Oh God, why all the things always relate to IT, the things which i dislike so damn much? Does my destiny always relates to IT? Oh no! I’m so suffering God. It doesn’t mean i’m not happy with my job. I’m happy for having great office mates, i’m so happy for having great bosses, i’m so happy with the facilities. I just really want to get out from the IT world. The world which i really dislike. I want to work what i really love to do. Pianist maybe? or Chef? catering entrepreneur? Own a restaurant maybe? or the worst choice is i’m gonna come back to college, to medical department, to take my childhood dream and make it come true to become a doctor. Whatever! I know, God is gonna show me the best way. I just want to be happy with all the things i do, and i work. Money just can’t buy happiness but we can’t deny that without money, we just can’t be happy because i can’t buy anything i want, and i can’t go wherever i want.

Notes: Whoever you are, even you are a daughter, a son, or even you are a mom-to-be, or a father-to-be, or even you are a mother or a father, please give your children the freedom to choose the things that they really love to do as long as they are on the right track. Don’t force your personal desire to them. Please let them choose their way.