” Allah doesn’t give what i want. But Allah always gives what i need. And whatever Allah gives me, it must be the best for me. Cause Allah knows, and i don’t. Alhamdulillah. “

Mocca, i’ve already known them since my first year on senior high school. I know all their songs from their first album “DIARY” until their last album. I know all the songs. I watched their concerts for the several times. And they are great! Really great. All their songs remind me to my unlucky first love.  Hehe. On the other hand, Mocca has high musicality. And their music is so enjoyable. But today, i know that they’re gonna quit from the indonesian music. Oh my god! I’m sooooo sad. Please don’t stop it Mocca. I love you much. All your songs are so memorable to me. It kept too much memories of mine. Please, don’t stop it Mocca. Hiks.

It’s been more than a year since i’ve worked in this government agency. I have great and nice office mates, i have nice bosses, and i have nice friends. By working there, i also get much new knowledges, new experiences, new memories with the work, with the friends, and i also earn money by working there. Overall i am so excited. But still there’s something that makes me quiet unhappy. As you know, actually i am in wrong major. Actually, since i was being a little kid, i’ve been dreaming of becoming a doctor. But, yes when i was on the last year in high school, i was disallowed to take the medical department. I was disallowed to make my dream come true. Mom and family suggested me to take the IT Department in college. Yah, because i didn’t want to become ANAK DURHAKA, i accepted their suggestions, and i took IT Department in college. The first year, the second year, till the last year, i was so suffering with all these things. I had to do what i really dislike, the things which i hate the most. I hate IT, i hate coding. Wtf! But, i just couldn’t believe that i could so easily studied IT there. As if God made me so easier to study there, to take my degree. My GPA is so satisfied, and for the wonderful one was i could studied there to get my bachelor degree for  7 semesters (3,5 years) only and it made my parents (quite) proud of me. But for normal case, it takes 8 semester (4 years) to take a bachelor degree. While i was still on college, i’ve ever been an assistant for a lab work and i earn money for the first time. I was paid by campus because i taught as a practical assistant. But eventually with the ease i got by studying there, i still can’t love IT. I still can’t love my knowledge, and my major.

Finally, after i got my bachelor degree, i’ve got the job. And my current job relates to the IT world too. Oh God, why all the things always relate to IT, the things which i dislike so damn much? Does my destiny always relates to IT? Oh no! I’m so suffering God. It doesn’t mean i’m not happy with my job. I’m happy for having great office mates, i’m so happy for having great bosses, i’m so happy with the facilities. I just really want to get out from the IT world. The world which i really dislike. I want to work what i really love to do. Pianist maybe? or Chef? catering entrepreneur? Own a restaurant maybe? or the worst choice is i’m gonna come back to college, to medical department, to take my childhood dream and make it come true to become a doctor. Whatever! I know, God is gonna show me the best way. I just want to be happy with all the things i do, and i work. Money just can’t buy happiness but we can’t deny that without money, we just can’t be happy because i can’t buy anything i want, and i can’t go wherever i want.

Notes: Whoever you are, even you are a daughter, a son, or even you are a mom-to-be, or a father-to-be, or even you are a mother or a father, please give your children the freedom to choose the things that they really love to do as long as they are on the right track. Don’t force your personal desire to them. Please let them choose their way.

Hmm,, what about you? For me, the most comfortable place to live is in my home, with my parents and my sisters beside me. It felt something different when i still lived with my family. It’s so comfortable and beyond my words. Even it beats the fifth star hotel full with its great facilities. When i am with my mom, my dad, and my sisters, i’m always happy. Mom can always cheer me up, and she can wrap my face with a pearly smile.

Actually, since i was 17, i had moved to Bandung and lived separately from my beloved parents. But, the time can’t change my feeling, and the time can’t decrease my sadness of living far away from my beloved. Until now, everytime i get homesick and i wanna feel homey, i still cry for missing them. Maybe you believe or you don’t believe (yes, it’s up to you), everytime i go home to Medan, and if there’s a time when i have to back to this J-Town, i always cry in the plane. I just can’t resist my tears fall down from my eyes everytime i hug and kiss mom, dad, and sisters, and say BYE BYE MEDAN, SEE YOU NEXT TIME. My family is the best. Lucky me having a caring mom and dad. Love you too much ma, pa. Every Ramadhan month comes, i still cry too. I always miss the moments of Ramadhan months with my family. I miss the fast-breakingwith my family, i miss the sahur, i miss the tarawih night with them too.

Ahhh, my dear God, i do hate this cranky Jakarta. Can i move from here? I wish someday i could. How i miss my childhood when i still lived with my parents, my sisters, without thinking any trouble problems, without even thinking about the job which i dislike. God, please turn back the time. If i could, i want to go back to my past when i still lived in Medan.

This year, 2011, is special for me, because this year i’m getting married insya Allah. What i feel now, is i feel more relax, and i’m not stress anymore. Yah, whatever will be, will be lah. Insya Allah, our marriage’s life is much more beautiful than our wedding party. Aamiin. Insya Allah this year, i’m gonna beginning the new life, hopefully much happier. Aamiin. Have a great year, people!

This is it, the happiest moment ever when my fingers touch and dance on the piano. I’m always happy when playing piano, and i always play piano with all my heart. My fingers dance, my heart swings, my mood is up. It’s always be the greatest moment i do. Beyond the words! I am so glad for being a pianist.

I always love you my beloved adorable Karin.